Another Hunting Season Begins for the Rabid Deer

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deer-hunting-begins.jpgThe Rabid Deer was deep in the woods when it heard the crackling sound of clumsy feet walking on dried leaves. No forest creature could make that sound. It could only mean one thing. The hunters had returned.

     Just after the air begins to cool and his hindquarters begin to twitch, the Rabid Deer knows it is time again to hunt and be hunter. As it looks for some furry companionship, it has to stay extra alert for the hunters, who stumbled through the woods as if everything was supposed to come to a standstill for them. But all the woodland creatures knew the sounds and that it was time to quickly disappear.

     The Rabid Deer would always hear the voices. Usually a voice that said, “I ain’t seen nuthin out here all day.”

     “Yeah, me neither. Have another beer!”

     If the noises weren’t enough to alert the Rabid Deer and all the other woodland creatures, the smell came even earlier, wafting through the woods like the stench of a day-old dead skunk. Sometimes it was more than the Rabid Deer’s nose could handle, driving the beast deeper into the woods. But not too deep, because that’s where the scary shadows lurk among the trees, too scary for even a Rabid Deer.

     The Rabid Deer never wanted to get too far away from the hunters. After all, a Rabid Deer needs a good laugh now and then, too. One of its favorite things to watch, if it could get close enough without detection, is the hunters trying to build a fire. They’d start off small, using a few twigs or scraps of paper to get started. They’d pile on some limbs and nothing would happen. Then they’d blow on it and blow on it, and still nothing. No flames, no warmth, no light would they get for their efforts. Inevitably one of the hunters would get a can of liquid and pour on the spot. Then he would throw a match at it and one of the other hunters would always be too close and scream when the fire scorched him.

     The Rabid Deer would tell all its woodland buddies about the fire building exercise, but its buddies would always scoff at its story – until its buddies saw the spectacle live.

     As the cold nights had just begun, the Rabid Deer knew there would plenty of opportunities to witness the bumbling ways of the hunters. It just had to be careful. Even an idiot could hit something with a fire stick if he made the loud noises with it enough.

     If you are one with the Rabid Deer, you need to wear him on your body. You can get Rabid Deer apparel at Rabid Outdoors.