Blog - Rabid Deer

Never Go Snow Skiing with a Rabid Deer

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     rabid-deer-skiing.jpgSnow skiing can be a dangerous activity once you get past the bunny hill. It can be even more dangerous if you try to go snow skiing with a Rabid Deer.

     Speaking of bunny hills, after exhaustive research here at Rabid Outdoors headquarters, we still don’t know where the name originated. There seems to be two lines of thought. Either it was named for the small hill a bunny creates when it digs a hole or it’s named for novice female skiers. Since we like to make things up here at Rabid Outdoors, we’ll just say it’s called that because it’s as soft and cuddly as a bunny.

     But we digress from our important public service message.

     It’s a well-known fact, at least here at Rabid Outdoors that Rabid Deer have been trying to learn how to ski ever since Scandinavians on skis started shooting at them centuries ago. It’s just sad that in all that time, a Rabid Deer still can’t ski. But we’ll tell you why and why you should never, that is never, never, never go skiing with a Rabid Deer.

  1. A Rabid Deer never has any money for the lift tickets.
  2. You’ll never convince a Rabid Deer it should advance beyond the bunny slope.
  3. Rabid Deer are notorious for never having the correct equipment and then you have to loan them something, or worse, pay to rent it.
  4. While Rabid Deer never seem bothered by the cold, they always want to go back to the lodge for hot cocoa.
  5. A Rabid Deer always seems to have a bottle of bourbon, which explains the desire for cocoa.
  6. A Rabid Deer will always shout insults at the St. Bernard, who then attacks you.
  7. Rabid Deer are terrible at tow lines because they don’t have opposable thumbs.
  8. Your ski sweater or jacket will always get ripped because a Rabid Deer can’t keep its antlers to itself.
  9. Rabid Deer cannot be counted on to help in an emergency. They just go all spastic on you.
  10. A Rabid Deer wiping out on the slopes is one of the most horrible events you’ll ever witness.

     At Rabid Outdoors, we hope this information is helpful for you as your attempt to enjoy the great outdoors this winter. For all of our rabidly important messages, just go to our blog archive.

Another Hunting Season Begins for the Rabid Deer

The Rabid Deer was deep in the woods when it heard the crackling sound of clumsy feet walking on dried leaves. No forest creature could make that sound. It could only mean one thing. The hunters had returned.      Just after the air begins to cool and his hindquarters begin to twitch, the Rabid Deer knows [...]

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Never Go Mud Bogging With a Rabid Deer

His total lack of driving ability should be an immediate tip off to why you should never go mud bogging with a Rabid Deer.      But we know you’re living the Rabid Deer life. You have to try new experiences. You want to see new sights and sounds. You want to go mud bogging with a [...]

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How Not to Approach a Rabid Deer

Here at Rabid Outdoors, we know sometimes you forget how you’re supposed to act. For example, when you come across a rabid deer in the woods, you don’t try to pet him. While that may seem obvious, here are some other actions that would be best to avoid in your rabid deer encounter. Do not call the deer [...]

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